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| Andrew McCutchen is good when he swings a baseball bat |
So you’re sitting at home last weekend. The Giants just
swept the Dodgers and won the first game against the Reds, compiling 4
consecutive shutouts for the first time in franchise history. Madison Bumgarner
just terminated everything the Reds stand for. It’s late at night. You’re not
partying this time. You’re laid back sipping your Sauvignon Blanc, watching
Full House DVDs because you are so darn happy. Here’s the kicker: You don’t
even care Joey hasn’t said a funny line in years. Nope, doesn’t bother you, You’re
just sitting there thinking to yourself “I am at peace with the San Francisco
Giants.” Yes, don’t deny it, you thought that. And that’s really all that
matters. I guess family probably does also but did they ever win a World Series?
All of the
sudden, it’s July 8th and the Giants have two wins since then. One
of them was because a Pterodactyl flew over Jay Bruce when he was trying to
play baseball. The other was because Erik Bedard. The Giants have lost 7 of
their last 9 going into the All Star Break, all against 1st place
clubs. But assuming you’re a Giants fan you don’t need me to tell you more
about the dreadful performance of your baseball team. Now you’re still watching Full House because it’s just a
gosh darn happy show and you want to be happy. That Bob Saget just knows what to say
and when to say it!
It’s just amazing the extreme range of emotions concerning this
team over the course of just a week.
Do I really have to get to the specifics
of the actual series? Here goes nothing:
Neil Walker played like Joe Morgan.
There’s your series summary. That’s
really all you need to know, and you can deduce everything else from that
simple sentence. Just about everything that could go wrong in the last series
of the year did go wrong. And then Neil Walker played like Joe Morgan.
Here’s your Giants analysis: Gregor
Blanco forgot how to walk, Angel Pagan gotten bitten by a wild Jose Castillo,
Pablo Sandoval is swinging at shooting stars he thinks are massive curveballs,
Brandon Belt forgot if strikes are in the strike zone or if balls are in the
strike zone, the bullpen village is burning to the ground, Zito is being vintage
Zito and Lincecum is being vintage Zito. That’s just about the worse case
scenario and that’s just about everything Giants in the last week.
I can’t think of a better time for
the All Star break to come. Wow does this team look like they need a break. Playing
the last 6 games in volcanoes probably didn’t help either. But I’m going to go
out on a limb and say this wasn’t the last triple digit fire storm they’ll have
to play in in 2012. That’s no excuse for poor play in the heat, even if it is a
factor. It definitely can’t hurt to take a break from this stupid sport. The
hitters can rest, and Lincecum and Zito should probably have one of those Zen
meditating parties that Zito likes to do. Everybody just needs to relax.
Still, it’s important to take this
wretched stretch in context. I mean, if you lived in a hole and the only way
you received Giants information was through KNBR callers, you’d think the
Giants were an oil drenched out of control tow truck heading right towards a
Cirque Du Solei fire show. For goodness sake the Giants are still just ½ a game
out of first place in the NL West.
They’re chasing a team that’s been playing with a Abreu, Rivera, Hairston 3-4-5
lineup. There’s still 2 wild card spots up for grabs! It’s still just over half
way through the season. Think about that. Remember when the Giants were swept
up in Pheonix like a stray paperclip, all the way back in April? It seems like
that happened last millennium. There is still a ton of baseball left to be
played. Every team has stretches like this. The Giants just are getting it over
with early! C’mon anybody? That’s legit right?! I need a break.
*****
Alright
I can’t post this without writing something about Pablo Sandoval’s brain cramp
deluxe. But I really can’t write anything about it either because it was one of
the most boneheaded baseball plays I’ve ever witnessed. They say a gif speaks a thousand words...
Yep, time for a break.
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