Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Game 7 Running Diary

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I don't know if you heard, but the Giants won their second National League pennant in the last 3 years. Something about Hunter Pence getting three hits in one at bat. In the spirit of Bill Simmons I made a running diary chronicling my thoughts throughout the game. Prepare for the most unintelligent literature you probably will ever read. Also the Giants are in the World Series.

5:05 Just got back from class 1 minute before the first pitch. My initial hope is that Matt Cain doesn’t get eaten by grizzly bear. He needs to be on the mound in order to pitch.

5:07 Matt Cain makes it to the mound.

5:09 Matt Cain strikes out Jon Jay to start off the ball game. I think the crowd is going to explode.

5:10 Carlos Beltran bloop base hit to center because Angel Pagan was throwing up during the pitch. I don’t exactly blame him. It’s happening to all of us.

5:12 Tim McCarver: “The Giants don’t want him to be perfect just good”

/Bruce Bochy talking to Matt Cain before the game

Bochy: "Matt don’t be perfect."

Cain: "what?"

Bochy: "Give them a few runs or something."

Cain: "what are you…"

Bochy: "Go get ’em!"

5:15 Beltran nearly gets picked off. Tim McCarver: “Beltran has a sore left knee and that makes it tough to run” Breathtaking analysis.

5:16 Beltran steals second. Lol.

5:17 Matt Cain gets Allen Craig to pop out for a scoreless first. Right now in order to breathe I have to think about how to inhale and exhale. Hooray sports!

5:19 Jimmy Fallon is funny but when Capital One writes his jokes he is very unfunny. It's a good thing Capital One does not have a late night talk show.

5:23 Marco Scutaro executes a perfect hit and run right into the hole previously occupied by Daniel Descalso. The term bat control gets thrown around loosely. Marco Scutaro is bat control. It should be flipped to where bats have good Marco Scutaro control.

5:24 Pablo Sandoval with RBI 60 foot groundball. The playoffs! 1-0 Giants.

5:25 Fox enjoys reminding us that Buster Posey is hitting .175 in the NLCS. Guys, I’m starting to think he’s overmatched.

5:26 Our first behind home plate camera shot AKA Yadier Molina’s butt shot. Honestly, this has been one of the most annoying things about the 2012 post season, besides the Giants causing me to buy breathing machines. The main issue with the camera angle is that you can’t see anything besides the Umpires and the catcher’s butt. I have no idea if a pitch is a strike or a ball or a pitch out or right down the middle. Other than that it’s like I’m right in front of the action!

5:27 Posey gulfs at a 3-1 pitch not close to the zone. Pete Kozma fumbles it but Buster Posey runs like half a Bengie Molina. 

5:29 !!!!!!! 4 pitches into the at bat and Hunter Pence hasn’t struck out yet!

5:29 Hunter Pence strikes out to end the inning.

5:29 Happy with one run, but 1st and 3rd and no outs with the 3-4-5 hitters coming up should probably produce more. There’s not one way this will come back to haunt us though! Nope can’t see it!

5:32 Lol X-Factor.

5:32 Joe Buck reminds us that the Cardinals came back from 6 runs against the Nationls in an elimination game. No way! This is the first I’m hearing of this!

5:36 Matt Cain is very unsharp right now. He’s a little erratic and has thrown some cupcakes that the Cardinals have just missed i.e. the last 1-1 fastball right down the middle to David Freese. Keep breathing…. Keep breathing…

5:37 Tim McCarver is surprised Yadier Molina is not attempting to steal. Yadier Molina is related to Bengie Molina. 

5:38 2 on nobody out for the Cardinals. Back to back great at bats by Molina and Freese. Daniel Descalso and Pete Kozma coming up. This shouldn’t be scary. Why are Daniel Descalso and Pete Kozma scary. I hate the Cardinals. 

5:38 Joe Buck reminds us that Mike Matheny caught Cain in his major league debut. This hasn’t been talked about enough during this series. I’ve always liked Mike Matheny. He played for the Giants when I still believed in the gamer mentality over on base percentage and slugging. Matheny was such a good defender and such a calm, likeable precense during the dark years of Giants baseball. People forget he won the Willie Mac award in 2005. I can neither confirm nor deny I own a Mike Matheny Giants shirt.

5:39 Brandon Belt diving stop on a Descalso ground ball to get one out at 2nd. Pete Kozma up. Please Matt. Do not throw him anything. How many times do I have to say it DO NOT TAKE PETE KOZMA LIGHTLY.

5:42 Cain strikes out Kozma and Posey snaps a throw to 3rd to try and catch Molina napping, but he just gets back to the bag safely. Razor thin play. Pablo Sandoval jumps in frustration, which causes a small tremor. Sorry for the fat joke but I’m in a feeble state of mind right now.

5:44 Brandon Crawford with a fantastic jump catch off a soft liner by Kyle Lohse. Just let out a shriek similar to that of a small rodent. First lemur like shriek noise of the night.

5:45 So thankful for Brandon Crawford. I've said it a lot but it never ceases to disappoint: Earlier in the season, I was resigned to the fact that short stop would be a black hole of doom for the Giants. The Giants would get nothing from the position. I’m really glad I’m an idiot.

5:47 Cain is already at 46 pitches through 2 innings. Bruce Bochy is probably thinking about Guillermo Mota’s availability.

5:54 Brandon Crawford has a 3-1 count with Blanco aboard at first. Fox cuts to a shot of Chris Carpenter scratching his neckbeard.

5:55 Matt Cain crushes a hanger just past Kyle Lohse’s head and into centerfield to plate Gregor Blanco. 2-0 Giants. Also Matt Cain.

Lohse’s liner gets caught, but Cain's gets through for an RBI single. BABIP is a Giants fan.

6:01 Giants fans boo Carlos Beltran for hitting .323/.369/.551 as a Giant. This is why people say San Francisco is full of elitist.

6:02 “Nobody has a more regal carriage to his walk.” Tim McCarver is beginning to just say giberrish now.

6:03 Dave Flemming notes on twitter that Cain is living up in the zone, and that’s not a recipe for long term success.... Still attempting to breathe…

6:05 Gregor Blanco is so good in left field. Angel Pagan has beautiful dreams of getting jumps that Gregor Blanco gets.

6:07 the Cardinals are 0 for 6 with runners in scoring position so far. I wish I knew it what it felt like for a team to continue to fail miserably with runners on base. Must be awful.

6:08 Marco Scutaro with his 2nd base hit, 2 for 2 tonight, hitting .500 for the series. Never forget.


6:11 After a Sandoval double, Giants have runners at 2nd and 3rd with nobody out., already up 2-0 Buster Posey with a chance to break it open. Or if you account for Cardinal comeback factor, give the Giants a lead.

6:13 Posey walks to load the bases for Hunter Pence. Mike Matheny changing pitchers before the end of the 3rd.  Better rub some of that Lohsin off! Amiright?

6:15 Bases loaded no outs for Hunter Pence. Joe Kelly pitching, 2 first name pitcher which is pretty scary.

6:17 Oh my.

6:17 Pete Kozma moves one way, and the ball goes where he used to be. Then Jon Jay plays soccer with the ball in left field and Hunter Pence clears the bases. 5-0 Giants. The Cardinal defense is burning as is my heart.

6:18 Brandon Belt hits a soft liner up the middle that hits off Joe Kelly’s hand and ricochets to Descalso who has no play. BABIP <3.

6:21 McCarver notes that it’s so bizarre that 4 of the 5 hitters have swung at the first pitch and got a hit. Uh Tim, Have you met the Giants?

6:21 Blanco walks. Still nobody out. 25 runs is the preferable lead.

6:22 Pete Kozma continues his strong bid to become Brooks Conrad 2.0. Kozma throws home to try and get the force but Pence beats the throw. The Cardinals defense is Rome after it gets burned again after it was initially burned.

6:25 Buster Olney notes on twitter that the Cardinals have crossed over from physical mistakes to mental mistakes. Yep.

6:26 6-0 is great but guys do you remember the Cardinals came back from this deficit against the Nationals on the road. No no it’s true, I know it’s not being discussed on the broadcast, but be careful!

6:28 Cardinals cannot turn two as Pete Kozma and Daniel Descalso play like Pete Kozma and Daniel Descalso. Finally. There are no words to describe how good that feels.

6:28 By the way it’s 7-0. Starting to get basic feeling back in my extremities. That is a bigger accomplishment than you might think. 

6:29 Cardinals may want to get Kozma-tic surgery! Anybody!?

6:32 Joe Kelly is replaced by Edward Mujica. Dave Cameron what say you:
6:34 Sandoval hits a liner that gets caught to end the inning. That’s about the only thing the Giants have hit that’s been caught. BABIP is giving the Cardinals a flower. That’s cute.

6:35 That inning lasted 27 minutes and the Giants scored 5 runs. Not jinxing anything yet. I value my cardio vascular system too much.

6:37 Yadier Molina’s neck tattoo is very underrated in the neck tattoo world. It’s very tough living in the same era as Kenyon Martin.

6:38

 FOX: “ Guys the Cardinals can come back from this! It’s happened before! Earlier this postseason! Please! Don’t switch the channel to Monday Night Football or the Debate because those are much less interesting than a 7 -0 blowout!"

6:42 Slow motion replays reveal Hunter Pence’s bat shattered to the point where it hit the ball 3 times before the ball advanced in to the field of play on his 3 RBI double. I don’t really know how to analyze Alien forces.

6:43 Matt Cain with a shutdown inning. Matt Cain with a Matt Cain inning. 7-0 Giants.

6:46 Our first “This Train” commercial! Is it possible to replace Tim McCarver with Bruce Springsteen right now?

6:47 Pete Kozma with a perfect fielding play! Rejoice Cardinal fans!

6:50 Tim McCarver, in relation to the Pence double, explains that “when you break a bat, you don’t have control over the bat.” He probably should have made it clearer by instead saying “when standard non-extra terrestrial life forms break a bat, they don't have control over the bat “

6:53 7-0 headed to the 5th. Can the Cardinals to hit a 7 run homer in elimination games? Is it possible we have ruled that out too quickly?

6:57 Cardinals send up Adron Chambers to try and spark their offense. Here is Adron Chambers’ player page.

6:57 Momentary pause while I eat chicken. Please don’t do anything terrible Giants.

7:04 McCarver: “I can’t say enough about the wily calmness of Bruce Bochy” /long pause in broadcast.

Update: The chicken was good.

7:07 Still 7-0 heading to the 6th. Matt Cain has really settled down after some potentially rough patches in the first 3 innings. He’s thrown 87 pitches so I’m guessing Bochy will try and push him to 7 innings depending on how efficient he is.  Although with a 7-0 lead…

7:10 Oh boy oh boy oh boy Matt Cain hits Matt Holiday on the shoulder with a fastball. Remember these two have had a beef before. I can’t find the video on the web, but after the home run in that game, Holliday yelled at Cain while running to first to something of the effect of “Yeah bitch! Yeah bitch!” Baseball players are not the most adept at trash talking.

7:13 Should be noted it’s not definite that that was intentional. Cain had 2 strikes on Holliday and this is Game 7 of the NLCS.

7:14 Tim Lincecum heads down to the bullpen. Not sure how I feel about pitching a potential World Series starter 2 days before the series starts.

7:15 ALERT ALERT WE HAVE A JON MOROSI TWEET. SEEK COVER ACCORDINGLY:


Related: Madison Bumgarner is still breathing.

7:17: Cain visually upset when he sees Bruce Bochy coming out of the dugout to replace him. Excellent performance by Cain, considering the circumstances. 5.2 innings of shutout ball is perfectly fine with me. Matt Cain. 

7:20: Jeremy Affeldt ends the Cardinal threat in the 6th to keep the score 7-0. The Giants are 9 outs away from their 2nd NL pennant in 3 years.

7:24: Marco Scutaro made an out.

7:26: /Joe Buck and Tim McCarver talking between innings:

Joe Buck: “Ahh it’s 7-0 in the 6th inning what do we talk about!!!!”

Tim McCarver: “Quick, just talk about how fat Pablo Sandoval is! They love that!”

7:28 Lance Lynn heading to the bullpen. Adam Wainright, Jason Motte and Mitchell Boggs nowhere to be found. It’s a good thing this isn’t a one game playoff for a chance to go to the World Series.

7:30 Hunter Pence, after a momentary lull, returns to being Hunter Pence with a strike out in the 6th.

7:31 Also of note: We’re still in the 6th inning.

7:33 Just realized that in the last 3 games, the Giants starting pitcher has driven in a run. I’ve found the new market in-efficiency!

7:34 Remember when the Cardinals led the series 3-1 and had runners at 2nd and 3rd with nobody out against Barry Zito in Game 5?

7:34 I’ve never seen someone as happy to eat Roundtable pizza as that dude in the commercial just was.  

7:39 FOX pans over the Cardinal dugout and zooms in on all the sad faces. I’m just gonna go ahead and watch that on loop for the rest of my life.

7:41 Jeremy Affeldt with a perfect 1.1 innings sans a walk to Jon Jay. When Affeldt is on, he is  filthy. He’s thrown 8.1 innngs in the post season and hasn’t allowed a run.

6 outs away from the pennant.

7:43 Lil Wayne is not singing God Bless America. In the end, nobody won today.

7:44 Brian McKnight is singing God Bless America. Here is my comment on that:

7:49 Fans sound like a soccer crowd in left field chanting “Hoooolllliddayyyy” over and over again. They probably are saying other things, but we're a family website. 

7:51 Aubrey Huff appearance! Runners at 1st and 3rd with nobody out against Mitchell Boggs. Giants with a chance to break open the already broken open.

7:52 Aubrey Huff plates a run as he hits into 4-6-3 double play. When the Giants win this game 8-7, Aubrey Huff will be the reason the Giants advance. 8-0 Giants in the 7th.

7:52 #freeMelky

7:56 Marco Scutaro hits a single. I swear it’s true!

7:56 Fox talks about Brian Wilson still being a presence during the playoff run and still being vibrant. This pretty much sums up how the non-Giants community felt about this:

I get it. The dude is weird and his act is probably a little redundant. But I’m happy if Brian Wilson does his thing for the rest of his career. I mean, what is he doing wrong. Is it his fault the cameras always find him? How does anybody hate this?




7:59 Oh dear Pete Kozma. The shortstop kicks around a routine groundball, but Angel Pagan tries to score from 2nd and Kozma throws him out. That is the baseball way of Angel Pagan saying “I feel sorry for you Pete Kozma.”

8:06 Allen Craig struggling (3-25) despite his 2 first name advantage.

8:08 Yadier Molina with his 4th hit of the game, so at least there’s that for the Cardinals!

8:17 Javier Lopez strikes out Tony Cruz to end the 8th inning. Lopez has been dominant down the stretch this season. He too has not allowed a run in the post season. I also like the facial hair he’s trying to pull off. I appreciate the effort.

The Giants are 3 outs away from the World Series.

8:20 Jason Motte into the game for the Cardinals. Probably the most annoying pitcher to ever be annoying. Mainly because of his beard. It’s a good thing he’s not an attention getting maniac to go along with the beard because I just wouldn’t be able to stand that. Wait…

8:23 Now Ken Rosenthal is reporting Barry Zito will probably start game 1 of the World Series. I see no way a Verlander-Zito matchup could go wrong.

8:23 Brandon Belt turns on a 98 MPH fastball and launches it into the arcade. But really I think the playoff are just too big a stage for him. 9-0 Giants.

8:24 Tim McCarver: “Brandon Belt, living up to his name!” ahahahaha oh goodness Tim you are too much!

8:25 Reminder: In July, Bruce Bochy said Hector Sanchez was a better hitter than Brandon Belt.

8:29 Rain beginning to fall as Javy Lopez starts the ninth. If there’s a rain delay, I’m not sure the Cardinals come back onto the field.

8:30 YOU AIN’T YUCKIN IT UP WITH JOE BUCK NOW ARE YOU ADAM WAINWRIGHT?!?

8:31 Home plate umpire Gary Darling decides not to call strikes in the 9th inning of a 9-0 game with the rain pouring down. Good decision Gary.

8:33 Remember the Cardinals know how to play from behind. Remember the Game 5 against the Nationals!?!?

8:34 Tim McCarver: “The crowd is probably thinking ‘we’ve seen the 49ers play in this type of weather all the time.” No way! I was just thinking that Tim! Unfathomable!

8:35 It is pouring.

8:36 Javy Lopez walks Carlos Beltran and Bruce Bochy pulls him to bring out Sergio Romo. All this while the rain drenches the players, and the umpires are this close to calling a rain delay. It’s 9-0 Bruce. But please use all the time you need.

8:37 Joe Buck “I’m sure Bruce Bochy will tell you, I’m gonna play my game.” His game: using his fragile closer in a 9-0 ballgame in the pouring rain. Solid.

8:41 Sergio Romo one strike away from punching out Matt Holliday. Poetic justice is on its feet.

8:42 Remember when Bronson Arroyo shut down the Giants to give the Reds a 2-0 series lead?

8:42 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:42 Matt Holliday pops out to Marco Scutaro to clinch the National League pennant. Also the infield fly rule was called. Poetic is making out with justice all over the field while the baseball gods laugh.

The Giants were down 2-0 against the Cincinatti Reds. They were down 3-1 against the St. Louis Cardinals with Barry Zito on the mound. Tonight, they won the National League pennant in front of 43,000 Giants fans. 

Excuse me while I watch Bip Roberts hyperventilate.  

1 comment:

dhoff said...

HAHAHAHA! Greg, this might be the greatest thing I've ever read. Ever. Of all time.

October 23, 2012 at 11:58 AM

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