Giants Continue Offensive Domination Of Baseball Teams

Joaquin Arias is congratulated for a successful baseball play. This photo was not photoshopped.

The thing to remember about playing the Padres is that you are playing the Padres. For now, eliminate everything you know about the Padres being a sick, twisted organization, that nurtured Matt Latos in his formative baseball years, and developed him into the fiend he is today. Ignore how annoying the Padres are, and how their dinks and dunks from 2010 are still falling to this day. Don’t think about the ridiculously good future the team has and how they’ll have the first 162-0 season in 2015. Right now, at this moment, on August 18, 2012, the Padres are very bad at playing baseball.

The Giants were pretty imperfect tonight. Giants pitchers aloud 14 baserunners and 7 earned runs, constantly pitching into deep counts and working from the stretch the entire game. Barry Zito was replaced by Eric Hacker in the 5^th inning. Let us just admire the wonder of the previous sentence. Eric Hacker was forced into duty during the 5^th inning of a major league baseball game. Barry Zito had thrown just 66 pitches at that point, so fatigue was not an issue. This means Bruce Bochy believed that the Giants win probability improved if Eric Hacker pitched in tonight's baseball game instead of a rested 126 million dollar pitcher. Eric Hacker was believed to be a better option to win than the man whom the manager entrusts with the baseball every 5th day. The Giants won the game.

Which is to say, thank goodness that the 2012 Padres are not the 2014 Padres. Here are the 5 San Diego Padres pitchers used tonight: Eric Stults, Brad Brach, Tom Layne, Nick Vincent and Brad Boxberger. Those are the furthest things from household names, unless you live in a household that stays up late at night memorizing 2012 San Diego pitchers for fun. The last name seems fake:

Policeman: Son we think you stole these Funyuns. What is your name?

Culprit: My...uh...my uh.. my name is... uh....Brad.

Policeman: Really? Brad who?

Culprit: It's uh... uh....

Culprit: /looks left sees boxes /looks right sees package of burgers

Culprit: Boxberger... my name is Brad Boxberger

Policeman: Son do you think I'm an idiot?

Culprit: Yes.

If the Giants pitchers were going to pick a game to fart in their own faces, than this was the one. The Padres pitchers did not disappoint.

The Giants offense capitalized on Padres mistakes all night. And by mistakes, I mean the major league employment of crappy pitchers. And I’m not complaining. Oh man I’m not complaining. Remember when the Giants were shut down by pitchers like Stephen Fife and Chris Young? Yeah, me neither, what a stupid memory. But it goes to show the Giants don’t always hit against terrible pitching. Tonight, the Giants hit against pretty mediocre to terrible pitching, which is a beautiful sight.

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Buster Posey belongs on Mount Rushmore. Just sneak him in on the side next to Abe.

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Marco Scutaro is batting .325/.364/.463 in a Giants uniform in 88 PA. He’s not going to keep up this level of production, but it’s worth noting in 2 of the last 3 seasons, including 2011, he’s had an OPS above .781. He’s in the declining phase of his career, but there's no doubt he still has at least close to the same level of production he had a year ago somewhere in his system. He puts on a good at bat almost every plate appearance, and has a beautiful approach all over the baseball field. It's not unreasonable to think he could continue to be somewhere near this type of hitter the rest of the way.

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I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Joaquin Arias in this post. I have now done that.

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Buster Posey shaved his neck beard. This means something.