Melky Cabrera Being Annoying: A Scout's Take

"Like this?" "No, no, your hand need to be lower Pablo"

In case you missed it this week, Melky Cabrera was being annoying to Braves fans. Watch this:

lol. I like when the other teams broadcasters get all defensive. At around the end the color guys says "Then he got Gregor Blanco into whatever genuflecting he did there." Genuflecting! If you know what genuflecting means you're probably an avid dictionary reader, but since the only book I read is Harry Potter, I thought it was a spell. It is not. But if it was, I imagine it would something to do with gentrification, which would be a stupid spell to use if you were trying to defeat Voldemort.

Anyways, you just saw some snippets of what is making the Braves and their fans so "irked" as the video title says. Irked is another funny word. All the irkiness stemmed from a season where Melky did things like this:

It's hard to do that even if you're trying to. And in addition to sideways throws, he was fat and Atltanta people don't like fat people because there aren't any fat people in Atlanta! No way!

So there was some patchy history there and Chipper Jones implied in some comments that he and his teammates didn't have the most cordial relationships in Atlanta. In order to be fair, I've decided to examine some of Melky's irky antics, because I think the Braves deserve that.

First there's this thing:

This is the genuflection Braves guy was talking about! He is probably saying something along the lines of this to the fans:

Melky Cabrera: Hahahahaha I am genuflecting at you guys!

Braves fan: I was previously in a stable, tranquil state, however after your recent genuflecting, you have provoked me into ill-tempered emotional anguish!

Apparently, the motion is called the "crotch chop", mocking the tomahawk chop, which is a song the Braves play as a testament to a Braves fan's only known weakness: lyrics. The whole mocking part is funny, because it's mocking the chop and the tomahawk chop is mocking Native Americans. It's the circle of mocking! Who will mock Melky Cabrera?

He did it with Gregor Blanco also:

It appears to be some type of bonding gesture. Look, Gregor and Melky are so happy! 

Gregor Blanco: Yo Melky let's genuflect! Together!

Melky Cabrera: Hee yaw!

Matt Cain: Why do I have a helmet on?

Then there's "prodding the beast."(via Bay City Ball)

This is just a full on troll-attempt. Either that, or there was a bug.

Here's the odd one. The Braves are angry that he did this.

The Braves are angry because Melky admired his home run for a little too long. Honestly, that's hardly anything. Cody Ross hit one and flips his bat into the dugout, then plays a little round of hop scotch on his way to first. Manny Ramirez takes a 5 minute grieving period to remember the lost baseball he sent into the stands. Barry Bonds went on a 90 ft hike to first base whenever he went deep. Every single year during the home run derby, the players never even leave the batter's box after a home run. Lazy divas. All Melky did was take a little extra time getting out of the box. Have you ever hit a home run? It is a tiring affair. Melky as just resting a bit, because baseball players are only human.

Here's Juan Francisco's home run earlier that game. Juan Francisco is a Braves player.

It's hard to tell, but at the end, he is definitely not working on his Usain Bolt impression. A still look:

Look at Francisco. That is not the "oh crap let me sprint this out" stance. That is the "oh crap let me check on how my donut sales are doing while I have a minute here inside the batter box" stance. Because Juan Francisco is an avid donut salesman. The Braves aren't angry about this though. I don't hear Chipper making... wait for it.... wait.... hold on... a CHIPPER about this though! haha.

If Melky were on the other side doing this to the Giants, I'd probably write something about what a stuck up punk he is. So it goes. Instead I did this!