Giants-Reds Series Recap

This is why Aubrey Huff got more All Star votes than Jay Bruce

           I’m going to start trying to recap every series, just to give the blog a little consistency. I know all three of you guys are excited, which makes me excited and I like to get excited. So here is the excitement.

            The series was shaping up perfectly for a buzz kill of epic proportions. Fans spirits were at an all time high after the Giants demolished the Dodgers in the series prior, in which Giants pitchers threw 3 straight shutouts. The team had taken first place, crumpling up the Dodgers like a piece of scratch paper and throwing it in the trash saying “I ain’t even gonna recycle you dawg ”, disrespecting it in the most venomous way possible. Then in the first game of the series, Madison Bumgarner crippled the Reds to a complete game one hit shutout, making it the first time in franchise history a team has thrown 4 straight shutouts. Yep, fans were thinking, this is awesomeness to the tenth power.

            In game two, I think most of us all realized what we were in for. The Giants were playing the Reds, the team that sent the San Francisco “4 game lead over Arizona” Giants into a tail spin for the rest of the season in 2011. Remember, the Giants just took two out of three from the mighty Phillies, and ho hum here come those lowly Reds who are named after a color. Their mascot is the offspring of Mr. and Mrs. Met, and also has a ridiculous mustache. What a foolish team. And the Giants have Carlos Beltran! What a pleasant delight! Except it wasn’t pleasant, nor was it a delight. The Reds swept the Giants and were the beginning of the torturous end to the 2011 Giants.

            It would be too fitting for the Reds to unleash their mastered art of the buzz kill, and rip out the Giants soul again. And they looked to being doing that, holding the Giants to 2 runs combined in games 2 and 3 of the series. Not only that, but the Giants looked absolutely helpless at the plate. It’s like they remembered in game 3 “Oh what, Barry Zito is pitching again? He’s still here? Why are we participating in this contest again?”, and wanted to get out of dodge. First, Mike Leake's hair got in the way of game 2. Then of course Matt Latos had to be involved in the buzz kill. He almost has a buzz cut. He looks like Buzz Beamer from Sports Illustrated for Kids! His coolness always overwhelms the Giants dating back to his Padres days, and he infamously wrote mean things on baseballs. He had to be the one to crush the spirits of Giants fan.

            Then Sunday, it would be too easy for the Reds to just simply “win”. They needed a different alley, a more instrusive way to stomp on the Giants and all they believe in and win 3 out of 4 from them. Then a sketchy dude came from the back alley and whispered in Dusty Baker’s ear “make sure Joey Votto isn’t playing and then come back in the ninth inning to win, subsequently taking a win away from Ryan Vogelsong, and adding more questions about the bullpen. Also start a fight.” In about the middle of the top of ninth inning, the plan was working perfectly. Superhero Joey Votto did not play because of back soreness. The Giants had comeback to take a 3-2 lead in the eighth and the benches cleared during a bean ball spout between Ryan Vogelsong and Goldilocks’ brother disguised as Bronson Arroyo. Then, Santiago Casilla came in in the ninth inning and subsequently coughed up 4 straight hits and the game was tied at 3. It was everything the Reds wanted. Dusty Baker was already picking what flavor toothpick he wanted for the ride home. Now the final step in the plan was practically completed, as Casilla then had this situation: bases loaded, nobody out, 3-3 game. It looked over. The Giants were a fish out of water, except they were stranded in there Sahara Desert. Finally, the tide turned in the Giants favor, and the Reds realized the sketchy dude they made a deal with was sketchy.

            Casilla looked as dominant as he ever has, striking out 2 straight batters before a one pitch pop out to strand the bases loaded and keep the game tied at 3. He did this to Wilson Valdez.

Absolute filth.

            Then in the bottom half of the inning, after the Giants quickly got two Jay Bruce saw a UFO while the ball was in the air and the ball when right over his head, allowing the Giants to score the winning run. The Aliens help us again! Here it is via slapsy, from the McCovey Chronicles post game thread.

            A split is probably disappointing coming off an all time high against the Dodgers. But after watching the Giants flail on Friday and Saturday, I think they’ll take a split, which still puts them in the same place they were post-Dodger series. Of course the Dodgers keep losing, and the Giants probably should have taken advantage of that. But whatever, a split in a 4 game series is how most of them end and now the Reds are gone forever. Rejoice until they beat Giants in game 7 in the NLCS, reverse 2002 style. That was probably the rest of the sketchy dude’s deal.

*****

           

            More notes from the series:

            - Santiago Casilla’s struggles are a bit more alarming now and that extra reliever could certainly come in handy soon. Remember Casilla got hurt on June 1^st, and since then he’s posted a mighty 7.71 ERA giving up 10 hits in 7 innings. I don’t know if the injury is still affecting him, but he certainly hasn’t been the same guy since. Hopefully that last series of batters in the ninth against the Reds is a sign of things to come.

            - Good thing Brandon Belt is getting on base so much for near All-Star Brandon Crawford to drive him in. And the pitcher is there for backup!

            - At last Pagan has been dropped in the lineup, as he has looked atrocious in June. He’s batting .245/.302/.306, giving him 2 horrible months to one good month this season. The Giants would never do it, acquiring a bat to platoon with Pagan against lefties would be a good idea.

            - Blanco’s OBP is down to .337 and for him, that’s also 2 bad months to one good one. His defense gives him a longer leash than Pagan, but I was probably a little premature saying the only need for the Giants is a reliever. Another bat would certainly help.

            - Madison Bumgarner is only 22, which is probably the most repeated yet orgasmic stat of all time.  I'm also retiring the word orgasmic from this blog, which is probably for the best.