Dodgers Prove They Have No Soul, Win Thriller

Breaking news: Sergio Romo is human

Tonight was a Giants Dodgers game. A real one. It felt like what it’s supposed to be. The Post-Steve Finley era hasn’t seen a Giants Dodgers game with quite this much meaning. When the Dodgers made it to the NLCS in back to back years, the Giants were fiddling around with Dave Roberts and Randy Winn, because they were just so darn classy!  In recent years, the Giants were winning the World Series (!), while the Dodgers were getting scammed by noted con artist Juan Uribe.

Tonight, the Giants and Dodgers occupied first and second place in the NL West. It's a baseball fan's dream scenario. The game was playoff-esque. Brandon Belt tied the game in the 8^th inning and everyone was like “this is the big one!” except it was actually just an electric AT&T Park and a racous crowd. Or it was Brad Penny moving in the dugout. Tough to tell. But wow, that was what this rivalry is about. If the Astros led the Giants 3-1 in the eighth inning, the stadium would be half empty and the rest of the fans would be too hung over from all that kiss cam fun to care about a baseball game. Nay, this was a game worth remembering. You could feel it. It was a time you could forget everything about wOBA, WAR, OPS+, UZR and take off the sabermetrics lens you’ve been wearing to counteract RBI magic for the past billion years. Baseball was simple again. Everybody, coming from every baseball philosophy, agreed on one thing: this is why baseball is so great.

Then Hanley Ramirez waddled over and took a mammoth crap on it, the type of poops legends are made of. Baseball is stupid.

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Before you think about the 10^th inning, and Hanely Ramirez doing the weird glasses thing, remember: the Dodgers started Stephen Fife. It was his second major league start. Before this game, he’d pitched a grand total of 6.0 innings. Here are his minor league stats:

Year	Age	Tm	Lev	ERA	G	GS	IP	WHIP	H/9	HR/9	BB/9	SO/9	SO/BB
2008	21	Lowell	A-	2.33	14	0	38.2	1.009	6.5	0.2	2.6	9.5	3.73
2009	22	2 Teams	A+-A	3.71	18	18	87.1	1.191	9.3	0.8	1.4	8.9	6.14
2009	22	Greenville	A	2.70	8	8	36.2	0.982	7.9	0.2	1.0	8.6	8.75
2009	22	Salem	A+	4.44	10	10	50.2	1.342	10.3	1.2	1.8	9.1	5.10
2010	23	Portland	AA	4.75	26	26	136.1	1.394	9.5	0.7	3.0	5.4	1.78
2011	24	2 Teams	AA	3.74	25	24	137.0	1.423	9.4	0.6	3.4	6.2	1.83
2011	24	Chattanooga	AA	4.01	6	6	33.2	1.515	9.6	0.5	4.0	6.7	1.67
2011	24	Portland	AA	3.66	19	18	103.1	1.394	9.3	0.6	3.2	6.1	1.89
2012	25	Albuquerque	AAA	4.31	19	19	104.1	1.476	10.2	0.4	3.1	6.7	2.17

Provided by Baseball-Reference.com: View Original Table

Nothing special. Not terrible, but nowhere close to being big league material. And the Giants, being all nice and such, scored 1 run in 6.1 innings. The thing about an average offense, is that sometimes it is good and sometimes it is bad. Somewhere in the middle also! I know math! These games are going to happen. But really, Stephen Fife is the the guy that shuts you down? Of course it's the Dodgers that pull   a performance like this out of their pocket that was buried within a bunch of old receipts and torn up scraps. Obviously, part of it has to do with Sandoval being out, which means this offense is below average, and Angel Pagan is batting 5th, who is having quietest horrific slump of all time, and I can't for the life of me figure out why he's getting free pass. But that's another topic. This is about Stephen Fife, shutting down the Giants. That's something the 2008 Giants fan predicted.

*****

Now we get to talk about Hanley Ramirez! But first

This was the at bat prior to Hanley Ramirez, against Andre Ethier. Pitch 6 was called ball 4, but was close to being strike 3. And of course, it caused a riot on twitter. I thought it was a strike in real time. But it was a close pitch. Gameday shows it as a strike. If it went the other way, Andre Ethier would have thrown a fit. The umpire could't satisfy everybody, a sentence that shouldn't be taken out of context. I'm still angry about the call, but in a shocking revelation, I'm biased. It was a complete toss up. That's not the reason the Giants lost (see Fife, Stephen. Also see Giants offense, sucking). FFFVVDCDCWLMWEWMLFWFLWEFEMLEFMLwf*

But Hanley Ramirez y'all. I really believed Hanley Ramirez was an overrated move by the Dodgers, because it's quite possible he peaked when he was younger. I believe that. But right now I don't care about what he's going to be for the Dodgers, because right now, wow it's an irritating acquisition. 

Literally, this Dodger Giants game had everything. Even a villain. It was one thing to hit the third right handed home run ever against Sergio Romo, giving the Dodgers the lead. Then he did this:

I don't really know what he's doing. I don't think he was trying to show up the Giants, it's more like the arrow thing Pablo Sandoval does. A team bonding kinda gesture. He probably didn't mean harm. But who cares, Krukow's angry, so I'm angry! Watch out for Barry Zito's 55 MPH fastball tomorrow Hanley! Look at the Dodger reaction in the dugout

Like, what. You humans look ridiculous. My favorite part is Don Mattingly looking awkward. Every time a small good thought about the Dodgers creeps into your mind, look at this picture. Clayton Kershaw's hair in the back looks annoying.

*****

This post was going to have a lot of Brandon Belt, because apparently he's a hot topic. Now he gets this little snippet. He tied his season hit total in one game, so that probably should get more press. But it's just one more game where he looks comfortable. Just stating a fact, not making any conclusions. He was going to be the hero, and now he's just a footnote. So it goes, Brandon. Have fun with your razor. 

*****

Hey look, the Giants traded for Marco Scutaro! I'll put something up on this later put for now, but for now I'm just relieved because I thought they traded for a talking baseball. For now, just try thinking about Marco Scutaro puns, instead of the Dodgers. I don't like them. Please lose tomorrow.

But really, it may not seem like it now, but this does have a silver lining: Giants-Dodgers is a thing again. A real thing.

*Trying to control the urge to blame the umpire