Bruce Bochy Presents: How You Get Nervous When You Watch A Baseball Game

In yesterday's 14 hour baseball game between the Giants and the Athletics, it seemed that the Giants would win in a stress free afternoon. The score was 9-4 in the bottom of the ninth inning and Shane Loux was on the mound to record the final 3 outs of what seemed to be a run away victory. Loux puns were in full effect and bright blue skies were ahead. Heart rates were normal. Bruce Bochy was sitting in the dugout, and thus, the roller coaster of emotions ole' Boche would experience in the ninth inning began. 

Play  by Play of the inning

1) Lead off hitter Jemile Weeks lines out to a tumbling Melky Cabrera in shallow left field. 1 out.

2) Josh Reddick reaches first on an infield single, on a play this close, and thus the Bochy saga begins.

Reddick is clearly safe, but Bochy does not have replay vision in his eyes. He thinks Reddick is out and  comes out to argue.

This is Bochy's angry stance. Hands on the hips are a staple of Bochy's angry stance. Regardless. it is a 5 run game in the ninth inning, so Bochy can't get too angry with the umpires. Look at the umpire's face, he's like "Bro, seriously?", because that is how umpires speak. Even Angel Pagan is in the background going "Bruce I am very disappointed in your behavior at this juncture of the game." because that is how an Angel Pagan speaks. The fact that Reddick was clearly safe probably does not help Bochy's cause either. So Bochy would head back to the dugout a little angry, but not stressed at all because again, the Giants are leading by 5 and Bruce Bochy is affiliated with the Giants, by evidence of his jacket and hat. 

According to fangraphs, the Giants have a 99.4% of winning this game, which means 99.4% of other teams in this situation in baseball history win. Somebody should have told Bochy that before he argued.

3) Yoenis Cespedes strikes out swinging. 2 outs. (Reminder: you need 3 outs to end a baseball inning)

Bochy has calmed down considerably since his spout with the umpire, and with 2 outs the game seems all but finished. According to fangraphs, the Giants win expectancy at this moment was 99.9%. Pretty much as sure as a baseball game can get without the game being over. So with the odds in his favor, Bochy now has engaged in conversation with pitching coach Dave Righetti about what the two should have for dinner because it's guys night out. Righetti suggests tacos, but Bochy already ate Mexican food the night before, so the two are at a loss. Righetti is trying to think of more suggestions, but Bochy is giving no effort because he allllllways decides

4) Johnny Gomes walks. 

The stress is upon Bochy. With Righetti still trying to decide where to eat, Bochy's level of concern increases. Fangraphs has the Giants winning expectancy at 99.6%, so Righetti should have been telling Bochy that instead of thinking of what's good to eat besides tacos.


5) Brandon Inge comes back from 0-2 hole and singles to left, Reddick scores. 9-5. Win expectancy: 98.7%

Bochy now rises in preparation to go out to the mound. The A's have broken through in the inning and now Bochy and Righetti can no longer focus on food. The tying run moves to the on deck circle, but the odds are still greatly in the Giants favor. Bochy's stress is increasing, his nerves vibrating, as the Giants were one strike away from victory. Either that, or it looks like he needs to take a massive fart in Dave Righetti's face. 50-50 either way. 

Bochy comes out to the mound, just realizing Shane Loux is still pitching. This angers him more. He signals for Santiago Casilla to come out.


6) Casilla pitching. Derrick Norris broken bat duck snort single to left just out of the reach of Melky Cabrera. Johnny Gomes scores. 9-6. Win expectancy: 96.3% Reminder: still 2 outs and you need 3

I know what you're thinking: "This looks like every single other Bochy picture from this post," to which I say "Yep."

The tying run is now at the plate and Bochy is angry first because the Giants are taking a crap on the field and second because he thinks he has better facial hair than Derrick Norris. Food thoughts are completely behind the manager, and he is wondering how it all got to this point, to which I suggest that he read this post if he were really interested.

7) Brandon Moss comes back from 1-2 deficit and walks. Bases loaded. Win expectancy: 91%

The tying run reaches first base and now the A's can win with one swing of the bat. Even just a single completely changes the game, after the Giants were 1 strike away from winning for the second time in the inning. Here we see what the true meaning of agony is. Bruce Bochy has shunned Dave Righetti to the corner, and is now counseling the wall about what to do next. He is concerned because it is not talking back. This is why you should never be a manger.

8) Brandon Hicks hits a ground rule double to left. Norris and Inge score. 9-8. Win expectancy 77%.

If the ball does not go over the fence, the game is probably tied. 

A now enraged, and completey jittery Bochy now is comforted by Ron Wotus and Righetti. It's important to be with others when you're stressed, and Bochy knows this. He's even looking right at you, and then you tell him his win expectancy dropped 14% because of that ball. Luckily you are both in separate areas because of technology, otherwise he would shoot you with laser eyes.

Trusted closer Santiago Casilla has struggled for the second straight night, and Bochy has seen enough. With the left handed hitting Seth Smith coming up, he summons Javier Lopez from the bullpen. Meanwhile, Casilla is so rattled he thinks hats go on your hands.


9) Lopez pitching. Seth Smith walks after being down 0-2 in the count. Bases are now loaded. Win expectancy: 74%.

Bochey takes a big deep breath, which is the same reaction I have after taking a big poop, but I think this might be different. Or maybe the same. Regardless, the situation has bubbled to what will be the climax of the inning. The Giants used to have a 99.9% chance of winning this game, but now that has lowered a whole quarter. The Giants had A's hitters down to their last strike three times and were unable to finish them off every time. Bochy is angry, stressed and agonized. Plus, he remembers the whole restaurant situation. Everything is crumbling before the manager's very eyes.

Bochy knows righties are have a .388 OBP the past 3 seasons against Lopez, off the top of his head and everything. He takes Lopez out of the game and brings in the righty Clay Hensley from the bullpen, in one of the most high leverage spots of the year. He also shows Righetti his butt, but Righetti is not interested. Interesting times in the Giants dugout.

9) Hensley pitching. Jemile Weeks pops out to the second baseman Ryan Theriot, who has to range far towards right center field to make the over the shoulder catch. 9-8 Final. Win expectancy: 100%

This:

That my friends, it what it looks like when a Bruce Bochy goes from being nervous to unnervous. He might even go get tacos with Dave Righetti now.


What a guy